🕯️ How Do I Build Trust With Firefighters?

Firefighters are the parts that rush in when pain breaks through. They act fast — distracting, numbing, exploding, escaping — anything to stop the inner fire of overwhelm. Their methods can look destructive, but underneath every impulse is devotion. They’re trying to save you from unbearable feeling.

To build trust with a firefighter, drop the agenda to change it. These parts are experts at sensing judgment. If they feel you want to stop or fix them, they’ll dig in deeper. Start instead with appreciation: “I see how hard you work to protect me.”

Don’t ask them to stop. Ask what they’re protecting. You might hear about an exile — a younger part still holding terror, shame, or grief. Firefighters know how unbearable that pain once felt, so they do whatever it takes to keep it buried.

When you stay steady — not shocked, not moralizing, just present — firefighters start to relax. They learn that Self can feel what they’ve been avoiding without collapse.

Trust takes time. But once they realize they won’t be exiled for their intensity, their energy transforms. The same fire that once destroyed becomes fuel for vitality and passion.

Every firefighter carries life force waiting to be freed.