🕯️ IFS and Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)

Eating is supposed to be simple — but for some, it becomes a battlefield of fear, disgust, or overwhelm. Foods are avoided, meals shrink, and life narrows. Not because of dieting or body image concerns, but because eating itself feels unsafe.

Traditional views see ARFID as a problem with appetite or exposure.

IFS sees something deeper: protectors doing their best to shield the system from danger, disgust, or sensory overload.

🕯️ The Traditional View of ARFID

In the DSM, Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is classified as an eating disorder. Unlike anorexia or bulimia, ARFID is not driven by body image concerns.

Instead, it is marked by:

• Avoidance of certain foods due to sensory sensitivity (texture, taste, smell)

• Fear of choking, vomiting, or other aversive consequences

• Very limited diet leading to nutritional deficiencies or weight loss

• Distress or impairment in daily life because of restricted intake

  
  

Treatment from this lens often includes:

• Nutritional rehabilitation to restore balance

• Exposure therapy to feared foods

• CBT to reduce avoidance behaviors

• Medical monitoring for growth or health concerns

  
  

These can address physical risks.But they often leave unspoken the inner question:

Which parts of me believe eating is unsafe?

🕯️ How IFS Sees ARFID

Internal Family Systems doesn’t see ARFID as “picky eating gone too far.” It sees protectors who have very real reasons for limiting food.

From an IFS lens, ARFID is not irrational avoidance.

It is a system of protectors trying to keep the body safe.

• A vigilant part may believe certain textures are dangerous, and rejecting them prevents harm.

• A fearful part may replay a choking or vomiting experience, convinced it must block those foods forever.

• A disgusted part may react so strongly to sensory input that refusal feels like survival.

And beneath them — exiles. Parts who carry earlier memories of being forced, shamed, or terrified around food. Parts who remember what it felt like to gag, choke, or panic without comfort.

Restricting intake becomes a survival strategy, not a whim.

🕯️ IFS Doesn’t Just Force Exposure. It Builds Relationship.

Most treatments focus on reintroducing foods and expanding the diet.

IFS also asks:

• “Can we thank the part who avoids certain foods for trying so hard to keep us safe?”

• “What is it afraid would happen if we ate that texture or taste?”

• “Would it feel okay to listen before pushing against it?”

  
  

The goal is not to bulldoze resistance. It is to befriend protectors until they feel safe enough to loosen their grip.

IFS is not a replacement for medical care or refeeding protocols — it works best alongside safety, nutrition, and therapeutic support.

🕯️ The Power of Staying

ARFID can feel isolating. Meals become stressful, family gatherings overwhelming, restaurants impossible. Shame often piles on top of fear.

IFS offers another path: staying.Not forcing a bite, but sitting with the part that panics at the plate. Letting it know:“I see you. I know you’re trying to protect me. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

When these parts feel seen — not coerced — they may soften.Slowly. Carefully. In their own time.

🕯️ Yes, Use Supports — And Still Talk to Your Parts

Medical and nutritional care, exposure practices, and therapy are often vital.And alongside them,

IFS invites curiosity:

• “Which part of me refuses this food?”

• “What is it protecting me from?”

• “What does it wish I understood about its fear or disgust?”

  
  

Because in IFS, restrictive eating is never just about food.It is about protectors carrying burdens of fear, shame, or overwhelm.

🕯️ What Liberation Looks Like in IFS

IFS does not see ARFID as childish stubbornness. It does not see people with ARFID as broken.

IFS sees protectors who have worked tirelessly to shield the system from danger or disgust.It honors their efforts. And in time, it helps them rest once they know they don’t have to guard alone.

Liberation looks like being able to turn inward one day and say:

“I see you, protective one. I honor you. And you don’t have to keep this job by yourself anymore.”

Healing is not forcing food into the body.It is befriending the protectors who believe restriction is the only way to stay safe.

🕯️ Disclaimer & Support

This article is for reflection and education, not a substitute for professional care. If you are struggling, please reach out to a trusted professional or a crisis line right now. You do not have to carry this alone.

Crisis Support Hotlines:

• U.S.: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988, or chat via 988lifeline.org

• Canada: Talk Suicide Canada — 1-833-456-4566 or talksuicide.ca

• UK: Samaritans — Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.org

• Australia: Lifeline — Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au

• International: findahelpline.com

  
  

IFS does not see ARFID as brokenness. It sees protectors carrying fear and burden around food. And it knows: you are not alone.