🕯️ IFS and Distress Tolerance

Distress tolerance is often taught as the ability to “handle hard things.” In IFS, it’s not about endurance—it’s about relationship with the parts that fear distress itself.

• A panicked part might rush to soothe.

• A numbing part might shut down to avoid pain.

• A perfectionist part might over-function to keep chaos away.

IFS doesn’t demand stoicism. It asks:

• “Who in me can’t stand this feeling?”

• “What are you afraid would happen if we just stayed for a moment?”

When Self sits beside distress, tolerance naturally expands. It’s not because the pain shrinks, but because no one is facing it alone.

True distress tolerance in IFS isn’t white-knuckling through discomfort. It’s learning that feelings, no matter how intense, can be witnessed safely within connection.