🕯️ Exile Burdens in IFS

Exiles are the parts of us that hold the deepest wounds — memories of abandonment, terror, shame, or loss. When life felt unbearable, other parts locked them away to keep the system safe. But the pain didn’t disappear; it turned inward, becoming a burden.

An exile’s burden can take many forms: a child’s belief that “I’m unlovable,” a body memory of violation, or the crushing loneliness of never being seen. These burdens shape how we move through the world, even when the exile stays hidden.

In IFS, healing begins when Self is steady enough to turn toward that exile — not to fix or force, but to witness. As the exile is seen with compassion, its burden begins to loosen. It remembers that the event happened, but it’s not still happening.

Unburdening an exile is sacred work. It’s not about erasing pain, but restoring innocence — letting that young part know, “You are not broken. You were never meant to carry this alone.”