🕯️ Questions to Ask a Firefighter in IFS

Firefighters respond fast — with action, impulse, or distraction — to shut down distress. They rarely get the chance to slow down and speak. When you meet one, gentle curiosity opens the door. These questions help you listen instead of lecture.

Start with presence:

• “Would it be okay if I got to know you?”

• “What’s it like for you when that pain shows up?”

  
  

Invite its perspective:

• “What do you hope happens when you do this?”

• “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t?”

  
  

Acknowledge its effort:

• “How long have you had to do this job?”

• “Does anyone ever thank you for how hard you work?”

  
  

Explore what it protects:

• “When did you first decide this was your job?”

• “Who are you trying to keep safe?”

  
  

And finally, build trust:

• “Would it feel okay to know I’m here with you now?”

• “Is there anything you want me to understand before we stop?

  
  

The key is not the wording — it’s the energy behind it. Curiosity instead of control. Gratitude instead of guilt.

When firefighters are met with true listening, they reveal wisdom behind the chaos. They don’t need interrogation — they need company.