🕯️IFS and the Inner Critic

The inner critic is one of the most misunderstood protectors in the system. It sounds harsh, but its intention is almost always protection—keeping you small enough to stay safe, perfect enough to be loved, alert enough to avoid humiliation.

• A shaming part may say, “You’ll never be enough.”

• A fearful part may whisper, “If I judge first, no one else can hurt us.”

• A perfectionist part may drive endlessly to prevent rejection.

IFS doesn’t silence the critic; it listens:

• “What are you afraid would happen if you stopped judging?”

• “Who are you protecting when you speak this way?”

Often, the critic guards a deeply wounded exile who once believed their worth depended on performance. When Self meets both with compassion, the critic softens—relieved to no longer carry the impossible job of control.

In IFS, the inner critic transforms from tormentor to teacher, revealing the places where love was replaced with fear.