🕯️IFS and Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk in IFS isn’t cruelty—it’s fear in disguise. The voice that criticizes or mocks is often a protector trying to prevent deeper pain.

• A shaming part may say, “You’re worthless,” hoping to keep you from risking failure.

• A comparing part may whisper, “You’ll never measure up,” to protect from disappointment.

• A perfectionist part may scold to maintain control.

IFS doesn’t argue with these voices. It turns toward them:

• “Who believes I need to be spoken to this way?”

• “What are you afraid would happen if you were kind instead?”

When Self meets these protectors with curiosity, their tone changes. The harsh voice becomes the scared one—the one that once believed harshness was the only way to stay safe.

In IFS, negative self-talk isn’t self-hatred—it’s misplaced protection waiting to be understood.