🕯️IFS and Self-Soothing

Everything IFS
Oct 28
1 min read

Self-soothing in IFS isn’t about calming yourself down — it’s about letting parts know they’re not alone anymore. It’s comfort through connection, not control.

A managerial part may try to soothe by distraction — scrolling, cleaning, working.
A fearful part may panic if the body slows, mistaking stillness for danger.
An exile may cry out for tenderness but doubt it will last.

IFS asks gently:

“Who’s trying to help me feel safe right now?”
“What kind of soothing would actually reach you?”

When Self comes forward, soothing becomes genuine — not a trick to suppress feeling, but a steady presence that says, I’m here, you can rest now.

In IFS, self-soothing is the sound of inner trust rebuilding itself, one calm breath at a time.

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