🕯️How to Use the Six F’s in IFS

The Six F’s are a gentle map through the beginning stages of IFS — a way to move from first contact with a part toward understanding and trust. They are not rules, but a rhythm: Find, Focus, Flesh out, Feel toward, Befriend, and Fears/Function.

Find. The journey begins by noticing which part is most present — a voice, emotion, or sensation calling for attention.

Focus. Turn toward it with curiosity. Where do you feel it in or around your body?

Flesh out. Let it show more of itself: images, age, tone, beliefs. This helps the part know you’re truly listening.

Feel toward. Check how you feel toward it. That feeling tells you whether you’re in Self or blended with another part.

Befriend. If it feels safe, let the part know you’re here, not to fix or silence, but to understand.

Fears/Function. When trust deepens, you can ask gently what it’s afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job — or what role it’s trying to play for you.

The Six F’s are not a checklist to rush through. They are an invitation into relationship. Sometimes you move through all six in one breath; sometimes you spend weeks on one step.

Their purpose is not technique — it’s connection. Each “F” opens a door to more intimacy with your inner world, where healing begins not by pushing, but by presence.