🕯️Tormentor vs. Mentor in IFS

Inside every system, there are parts that seem to torment — inner critics that tear, memories that sting, protectors that sabotage at the worst possible moment. In IFS, these parts aren’t punished or silenced. They’re approached with the same question we’d ask of any other: “What are you trying to do for me?”

A tormentor part isn’t cruel by nature. It’s carrying the burden of cruelty — a belief that shame or pressure is the only way to keep you safe, perfect, or alert. It uses pain as protection. It torments to prevent failure, rejection, or vulnerability.

When Self begins to stay close to such a part, something astonishing can happen: the tormentor transforms. Once seen and trusted, the same fierce energy becomes guidance — a mentor energy. The voice that once said “you’re worthless” softens into “you deserve more.” The lash becomes a compass.

IFS teaches that every tormentor carries within it the seed of mentorship. When we stop fighting these parts and start listening, they reveal the wisdom buried beneath their fear.

The journey from tormentor to mentor is not about silencing inner critics. It’s about witnessing their pain until they remember what they were trying to protect all along.