🕯️ IFS and Trichotillomania

Sometimes the hands move before we even notice. A strand pulled, a tiny relief, a momentary calm — then guilt, shame, and confusion. The urge to pull can feel both soothing and punishing, tender and compulsive, impossible to explain.

Traditional views call this Trichotillomania, or Hair-Pulling Disorder.

IFS sees it differently: protectors working with the body to release, distract, or regulate unbearable internal energy.

🕯️ The Traditional View of Trichotillomania

In the DSM, Trichotillomania is classified as a Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior (BFRB), related to obsessive-compulsive and impulse-control disorders.

Diagnostic features include:

• Recurrent pulling out of one’s hair, leading to noticeable hair loss

• Repeated attempts to stop or decrease the behavior

• Significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of life

  
  

From this lens, hair-pulling is often understood as:

• A behavioral compulsion related to anxiety or tension release

• A habit loop reinforced by temporary relief

• A symptom treated through habit-reversal training, CBT, or medication

  
  

These methods can reduce pulling frequency, but they rarely ask:

Which parts inside reach for relief through the body — and what are they trying to soothe?

🕯️ How IFS Sees Trichotillomania

Internal Family Systems doesn’t see hair-pulling as “self-sabotage.” It sees protectors using the body as language.

A restless part may pull to release tension that words can’t express.

A perfectionist part may focus on each strand as a way to control chaos.

A numbing part may pull to create a physical sensation that quiets emotional pain.

And beneath them — exiles. Parts carrying fear, shame, or loneliness. Parts that once needed comfort and found none.

Hair-pulling, through IFS eyes, is not a random habit. It is a communication of distress, protectors trying to manage what the system cannot yet hold.

🕯️ IFS Doesn’t Just Stop the Pulling. It Builds Relationship.

Most approaches aim to replace the behavior — to stop the hands.

IFS turns toward the parts who guide those hands and asks:

• “Can we thank the one who pulls for trying to help?”

• “What is it afraid would happen if it didn’t?”

• “Would it be okay to listen, before asking it to stop?”

  
  

The goal is not suppression. It is connection — so protectors know they’re not alone in managing pain.

🕯️ The Power of Staying

Pulling often brings relief, then shame. The cycle deepens, leaving the system trapped between comfort and regret.

IFS offers another path: staying — not in the behavior, but in presence with the part that pulls.

Letting it know:“I see how hard you’ve worked to keep me calm. You don’t have to do this job alone anymore.”

When protectors feel seen instead of shamed, the urgency softens. The body no longer has to speak through pulling.

🕯️ Yes, Use Supports — And Still Talk to Your Parts

Behavioral therapy, medication, and sensory tools can help create stability and awareness.

And alongside them, IFS invites reflection:

• “Which part of me pulls?”

• “What is it trying to soothe or release?”

• “What does it wish I understood about its work?”

  
  

Because in IFS, hair-pulling is not just a behavior to eliminate — it is a message waiting to be heard.

🕯️ What Liberation Looks Like in IFS

IFS does not see trichotillomania as failure or weakness. It sees protectors who found a physical way to survive emotional overload.

Liberation looks like turning inward and saying: “I see you, pulling one. I honor the care inside your urge. You don’t have to carry this alone anymore.”

Healing is not breaking the habit.It is befriending the protector until it feels safe to rest.

🕯️ Disclaimer & Support

This article is for reflection and education, not a substitute for professional care. If you are struggling, please reach out to a trusted professional or a crisis line. You do not have to carry this alone.

Crisis Support Hotlines:

U.S.: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988, or chat via 988lifeline.org

Canada: Talk Suicide Canada — 1-833-456-4566 or talksuicide.ca

U.K.: Samaritans — 116 123 or samaritans.org

Australia: Lifeline — 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au

International: findahelpline.com

IFS does not see trichotillomania as brokenness. It sees protectors carrying stress and pain through the body — and it knows: you are not alone.