🕯️How to Practice Unblending in IFS

Unblending is one of the quietest and most powerful skills in IFS. It’s the act of stepping back from a part — not pushing it away or silencing it, but gently separating your awareness from its intensity so you can see it clearly.

When you’re blended, you’ve merged with a part’s experience. You might say, “I’m anxious,” or “I’m angry,” and feel nothing but that part’s world. In that moment, Self’s calm curiosity disappears under the wave.

Unblending begins when you notice what’s happening. You might pause and say, “Something in me feels anxious.” That small shift in language opens space between you and it. You’re acknowledging the part without being consumed by it.

Sometimes the part resists separation — it might say, “Don’t leave me.” You can reassure it softly: “I’m not leaving. I just want to see you more clearly.” That safety allows space to grow without rejection.

As you practice, the difference between being the feeling and being with the feeling becomes unmistakable. From that space, Self can begin to relate rather than react, listen rather than fuse.

Unblending isn’t detachment; it’s intimacy with perspective. It’s how we stay close to our parts without becoming them — the heart of self-leadership.