Chapter 61 – Tao Te Ching

1. The Verse (Original)

A great state is like a low-lying land,the meeting place of all waters.

In governing, the great statebecomes the female of the world.

The female, by stillness,overcomes the male.

By stillness,she takes the lower position.

Thus a great state wins over a small oneby placing itself below it.

And a small state wins over a great oneby placing itself below it.

One wins by yielding.The other wins by yielding.

Let the great state be a great state,and the small state be a small state.

And both will findtheir proper place.

2. The Essence — What Laozi Is Actually Saying

Laozi is teaching the paradoxical strength of humility.

A great state becomes strongnot by dominating others,but by being like low land—a valley,a receptive basinwhere all rivers naturally gather.

This is the power of the feminine principle:stillness, softness, receptivity, yielding.

Not weakness.Not passivity.But a deeper form of influence.

When a large state lowers itself,smaller states trust it.When a small state lowers itself,conflict dissolves.

Everyone winsby not trying to win.

The Tao teaches:

What bends lasts.What kneels rises.What yields prevails.

3. Modern Clarity — Slow, Rich, Beginner-Friendly Line-by-Line Commentary

“A great state is like a low-lying land, the meeting place of all waters.”

Low valleys gather riversbecause they don’t compete for height.

Power comes from being a place of rest,not a place of superiority.

People are drawn to humility.

“In governing, the great state becomes the female of the world.”

Laozi isn’t talking about gender—he’s describing energetic qualities.

The feminine principle =soft, receptive, yielding, inviting, steady.

This is the kind of leadershipthat calms rather than provokes.

“The female, by stillness, overcomes the male.”

Stillness overcomes force.Softness redirects hardness.Receptivity neutralizes aggression.

This is the Taoist martial principle—water defeating stone.

“By stillness, she takes the lower position.”

Not lower as in “less than”—lower like a valley,the quiet placewhere everything returns.

Laozi is saying:

Humility has gravitational pull.

“Thus a great state wins over a small one by placing itself below it.”

When a powerful group, person, or nationdoesn’t posture or dominate,others relax.

Trust is born.Cooperation becomes possible.

“And a small state wins over a great one by placing itself below it.”

Small states can also avoid conflictby not competing for dominance.

Yielding is protection.

“One wins by yielding. The other wins by yielding.”

This is the Taoist paradox:

Two opposing sidesfind harmonythrough the same movement:lowering, softening, yielding.

“Let the great state be a great state, and the small state be a small state.”

Stop forcing artificial equality.Stop grasping for position.

Let each be what it isand peace emerges.

“And both will find their proper place.”

When force is removed,natural order restores itself.

Everything settlesinto the right relationshipwithout anyone needing to dominate.

4. IFS-Informed Understanding — The Tao Inside the Psyche

A. The great state = Self-energy

Self is spacious, steady, quiet—like a low valley.

It doesn’t compete.It doesn’t posture.It simply is.

And all parts feel safe in its presence.

B. The small states = Parts

Every part—fearful, reactive, protective—is like a smaller statetrying to survive.

When Self “lowers itself,”meaning it meets parts with humilityinstead of authority,trust forms.

C. Yielding = Unblending

Yielding does not mean collapsing.

It means:

• stepping out of the fight• not competing for dominance• letting go of internal power struggles

When a protector is not opposed,it softens.

D. The feminine principle = Self-led presence

Curiosity, compassion, patience—these are the “female” qualitiesLaozi is pointing to.

They disarm defenseswithout force.

E. Returning each state to its nature = internal harmony

When Self stays Self,and parts remain parts,the system functions beautifully.

No role confusion.No inner battles.No internal dominance hierarchy.

Just harmony.

5. A Soft Invitation — Not Therapy, Just Curiosity

• Which parts of me try to “rise” instead of soften?• What happens when I let myself take the lower seat inside?• Is there a protector that would relax if I stopped competing with it?• What would humility look like in my inner system today?• Can I sense the strength beneath yielding?

6. Closing — The Tao and IFS Share the Same Gate

The Tao teaches the power of the valley—the one who goes lowbecomes the one all things flow toward.

IFS teaches the same movement—Self doesn’t dominate parts;it opens space for them.

Both traditions speak of a strengththat doesn’t shout,a power that doesn’t push,a leadership that doesn’t rise abovebut settles below.

Yielding becomes influence.Softness becomes stability.Humility becomes unity.

When all parts and all statesstop struggling for position,they return to the One—the quiet harmonythat was always there.