🧭 Module 6 — Open Questions | MI Course
- Jul 27
- 6 min read
Free Course by Everything IFS Academy | Therapeutic Modalities Series
Module 6 — Open Questions
Some questions open a door and some close it, and most people ask the closing kind all day long without ever noticing. "Did you have a good weekend?" closes. "How was the weekend?" opens. The two sound nearly identical, the intention behind them is identical, and they produce entirely different conversations. The open question is the first of the four OARS skills, the core conversational tools MI runs on, and it earns its place at the front of the toolkit because it does the most fundamental job in the method: it hands the other person the floor.
Open vs Closed Questions
A closed question can be answered completely in a word or two: yes, no, Tuesday, fine. An open question invites the person to say more than a word, in whatever direction they choose. The difference is structural, built into the question's grammar, which is why it operates regardless of how warm the asker's tone is.
Hear the difference in pairs:
"Do you want to quit?" versus "What are your thoughts about quitting?" The first offers two boxes to tick. The second offers a blank page.
"Is work stressful right now?" versus "What's work been like lately?" The first supplies the conclusion and asks for a signature. The second lets the person choose what work has been like, which may turn out to be something the asker never imagined.
"Are you okay?" versus "How are you doing with all of this?" The first practically ships with its own answer; nearly everyone says "fine" to it, including people who are not fine. The second is genuinely answerable.
Closed questions are not villains; they have honest jobs, like confirming facts ("Are you still taking it every morning?") and checking specifics. The trouble begins when closed questions become the whole conversation, because of what they structurally do to it:
They create dead ends. Each yes or no lands like a period. The conversation stops and must be restarted, and the burden of restarting falls on the asker, every single time.
They put the person in waiting mode. After a few closed questions, people stop offering and start answering. They wait, politely, for the next question, the way one waits at a service counter.
They quietly hand the helper all the work. In a closed-question conversation, the asker must already know what matters in order to ask about it. Everything the asker fails to guess never comes up. The person's actual concern, the one no question anticipated, stays silently in their lap.
The Question–Answer Trap
The question–answer trap is what a conversation collapses into when questions come stacked one after another: one person interrogating, the other person supplying short answers, and a rhythm setting in that gets harder to escape with every exchange. MI names it as a trap because the rhythm itself does damage, separate from the content of any question in it. Stacked questions cast the two people into roles: the asker becomes the expert conducting an assessment, and the person becomes the passive patient awaiting a verdict. Those are precisely the two roles MI is built to avoid, because a person in the passive seat is not exploring their own change; they are complying with someone else's process.
Watch a caring conversation fall in. Priya's friend Sam mentions that his drinking has crept up since the divorce. Priya cares, and her care comes out as questions:
Priya: "How many drinks a night are we talking?"
Sam: "Three or four, I guess."
Priya: "Every night?"
Sam: "Most nights."
Priya: "Is it affecting work?"
Sam: "Not really."
Priya: "Do you drink alone or with people?"
Sam: "Alone, mostly."
Priya: "Have you thought about cutting back?"
Sam: "I don't know. Maybe."
Six questions in, look at what has happened. Sam's answers have shrunk from sentences to shrugs. Priya is working harder with every turn, hunting for the next question, while Sam has gone passive in the witness chair. And notice the strangest cost: Sam opened this conversation wanting to talk about his drinking, and the trap has now made him stop talking about it. Nothing Priya asked was wrong. The rhythm was wrong, and the rhythm was doing the talking.
The escape from the trap is knowing that a conversation cannot run on questions alone, even open ones. What questions alternate with is the skill of the lesson after next; for now, the repair within the skill itself is fewer, better, more open questions, and letting the answers breathe.
Crafting Open Questions
Turning closed questions into open ones is a small craft with a few reliable moves, and it improves fast with deliberate practice.
Convert the yes/no. Take any closed question and reopen it by asking for the experience instead of the verdict. "Did you have a good week?" becomes "What was your week like?" "Are you worried about the surgery?" becomes "How are you feeling about the surgery?" "Did the new schedule help?" becomes "How has the new schedule been working?"
Lean on the reliable stems. "What..." and "How..." open nearly anything: "What matters most to you about this?", "How did that land for you?" And "Tell me about..." is technically an invitation rather than a question at all, which makes it the widest door of the set: "Tell me about a typical evening," "Tell me about what's been going on with the job."
Handle "why" with care. "Why" questions are grammatically open but emotionally loaded, because "Why did you do that?" is what people hear from angry parents and traffic cops. Aimed at a person's behavior, "why" tends to land as an accusation and produce a defense. The soften is to redirect it at the thinking rather than the verdict: "What led to that decision?", "How did you come to that?", "What was going through your mind?" Same information, no courtroom.
One craft note worth a sentence: ask one question, then stop. The double-barreled question ("What's been going on with the drinking, and is it about the divorce?") opens a door and then shoves the person through a specific one, which is a closed question wearing a costume.
What Open Questions Are For in MI
In MI, open questions have one master purpose: opening territory and handing over the floor, so the person can go where they need to go rather than where the helper guessed they would. An open question honors, in miniature, the whole stance of the method: it assumes the person has something worth saying that no one else could have predicted, and it clears space for exactly that.
What open questions are not for is steering people toward confessions. "What makes you think you can keep living this way?" has open grammar and a closed heart; it is a lecture with a question mark stapled on, and people hear the lecture. A true open question is genuinely curious about an answer it does not already contain.
There is one specialized family of open questions, aimed with precision at drawing out a person's own motivations for change, and those, called evocative questions, get their own full lesson in Module 13.
Below this lesson, you'll find a Motivational Interviewing practice built around one of the skills you just learned, along with a few ways to begin noticing and practicing it in everyday life this week.
Motivational Interviewing Practice: The Conversion Drill
Open questions are a muscle, and this is the gym.
It takes about five to ten minutes with paper and a pen.
Write down five closed questions you actually ask real people in your life. Pull from your daily rounds: "Did you finish your homework?", "Good day at work?", "Did you take your meds?", "Are you still mad?" The more real, the better this works.
Convert each one into an open question using the moves from this lesson: ask for the experience instead of the verdict, reach for "What...", "How...", or "Tell me about...", and rescue any "why" by aiming it at the thinking.
Read each pair out loud, closed then open, and notice the difference in what each version invites. Say them as if to the actual person; the difference is easier to hear than to see.
Star the one converted question you could realistically ask this week, to the person you originally wrote it for.
Ask it when the moment comes, and then do the hard part: stay quiet and let the whole answer arrive, even the pause before it.
This Week
Pick one recurring closed question you ask someone daily, and swap in your converted version each time. Same care, wider door.
In one conversation, count silently how many of your questions could be answered in one word, just to see your own baseline.
When someone gives you a one-word answer this week, check the question you asked before blaming the answer.
Disclaimer:
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Crisis Support: 🚨
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, feel unsafe, feel at risk of harming yourself or someone else, or feel too overwhelmed to safely use self-directed practices, please pause this material and reach out for immediate support. Contact a licensed mental health professional, call or text 988 in the U.S. or Canada, or use your local emergency or crisis resources.
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